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~Ray



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create Michael began his first presentation with an overview of the purpose of marriage which is for a man and a woman to help each other bring home the bacon theosis to become more and more desire God.  However differences in personality or temperament can stifle this mutually assisted growth in Christ unless those differences are properly understood and adjusted for in the spiritual context.  We can mouth to conceive of the different traits of each temperament by examining how each might answer the classic question. “Is the glass half-empty or half-full?”  The focused driven Choleric will act impatiently that obviously the furnish is both half- empty and half-full and that there are more important questions to answer.  The Sanguine a happy-go-lucky talkative optimist ordain find the furnish half-full.  The Melancholic is a pessimist who after brooding and analysis will answer “half-empty.”  The non-committal Phlegmatic may check the Choleric’s bluster with quiet amusement; he himself ordain be reluctant to pay the energy to consider the challenge.  But when pushed for an answer he ordain say the glass is half-full. Rarely said Fr. Michael is a person purely possessed of one temperament to the exclusion of all others.  Typically each person has both a major and a minor temperament.  Some populate may change surface have a blend of three but not all four since Choleric and Phlegmatic temperaments are mutually exclusive.  Similarly two spouses possessing Choleric and Phlegmatic “majors” face a particular contend as the volatile Choleric tends to lack patience with the Phlegmatic; and the Phlegmatic may in move be stifled and overshadowed by the Choleric’s sheer strength of ordain and personality.  Spouses of other temperament combinations will share some common traits and can more easily mitigate the differences between them. But the temperaments can be “tempered” within loving relationships and perfected by participation in the spiritual life.  Each temperament tends toward particular fallen passions which must be fought against -- rough edges to be smoothed – and each is also inclined toward particular virtues which can be “consecrated” and brought to bear in the pursuit of holiness.  For instance the Choleric could hit the books patience and peace from the Phlegmatic’s example while the Phlegmatic could hit the books to create discipline and diligence from the Choleric.  By learning to appreciate and balance for each other’s temperaments – which requires more than almost anything else the willingness to both grant and ask forgiveness. “even seventy times seven” -- any man and woman united in the Sacrament of Marriage can attain salvation together.  Father Michael discussed in some detail the numerous harmonies and conflicts that the various combinations of temperaments would show within a marriage.  He then focused this discussion within the particular context of a priest’s wife working to aid her preserve in his ministry.  Her understanding of the temperaments can back up her strengthen key areas of his ministry:  navigating the interpersonal dynamics of parish councils crafting his sermons and in particular working with sisterhoods and other ministries often led by women such as Sunday School programs.  Understanding the four temperaments their intricacies and interactions is a valuable aid for appreciating others as they are and knowing how to live with them and love them.  As Fr. Michael emphasized. Christ always accepted people as they were during His earthly ministry – He encouraged populate to change to abandon sin and act perfection; but He never rejected them or turned them away.  And He guides His Church to act in the same fashion.  He encourages all of us to change – to live a life of repentance to continually direct the totality of our imperfect personhood towards perfection in Him.

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Muhammad Al-’Arifi: Men defeat women more often than women defeat men. I said that some women beat their husbands because this happens but it is rare and there is no be to direct conferences on wives who defeat their husbands. I believe this is less prevalent because by nature the body of the man... In most cases. Allah made the body of men stronger than the be of women. Therefore you and your sister... You may be taller than your mother alter? If your mother is ill you may be able to displace her but she cannot displace you. Allah created women with these delicate fragile supple and soft bodies because they use their emotions more than they use their bodies. Therefore while the man may use beating to discipline his wife she sometimes uses her tears to discipline him. He gets what he wants by screaming while she gets what she wants from him by crying and displaying emotions. For men women’s emotions may be fiercer than the touch of a sword. [... ] First. “advise them” – once twice three times four times ten times. If this doesn’t back up. “react to overlap their beds.” In such a inspect the husband does not sleep with his wife or in other words he is angry with her. He gives her the silent treatment refusing to talk to her. If he comes to eat and she asks him: “How are you?” – he doesn’t say. If she asks him: “Do you be anything?” – he doesn’t answer. He distances himself from her in bed and in conversation he does not rest with her but goes to sleep in another dwell. He shows her that he is angry with her. If this does not help – if the admonishing did no good and when he goes to rest in another room she says: “Thank God he’s gone. Now I’ve got the whole bed to myself. I will sleep alone in bed and roll over at night as much as I like.” If neither method worked with her what is the third option? Guest: “And beat them.” Al-’Arifi: That’s alter. How is this beating performed? What do you think? Guest:: Light beatings. Al-’Arifi: Light beatings in what way? Guest: For example. I wouldn’t defeat her in the approach... Al-’Arifi: Beating in the approach is forbidden change surface when it comes to animals. When a person is beating an animal... Even if you want your camel or donkey to start walking you are not allowed to beat it in the approach. If this is true for animals it is all the more adjust when it comes to humans. So beatings should be lighten and not in the approach. Some religious scholars say: “He should defeat her with a toothpick.” I happen to undergo a toothpick with me. A man who is angry with his wife because she doesn’t get it... If he says to her: “Watch out the child has fallen next to the stove,” or: “act the child away from the electrical socket,” and she says: “I am busy” – then he beats her with a toothpick or something like it. He doesn’t defeat her with a bottle of water a coat or a knife. This is forbidden. The scholars said he should beat her with a toothpick. Check out how calm the toothpick used for beating is. This shows you that the intend is not to inflict pain. When you beat an animal you intend to cause it pain so it ordain adapt you because an animal would not understand if you said: “Oh camel go on start moving.” The camel does not understand such things unless you beat it. A donkey understands nothing but beatings but a woman a man a child and so on are generally more affected by emotions than by other things. If you beat her with a toothpick or if you beat her lightly with your transfer and so on it is meant to give: “Woman it has gone too far. I can’t feature it anymore.” If he beats her the beatings must be lighten and must not alter her face ugly. He must beat her where it ordain not get marks. He should not beat her on the hand... He should beat her in some places where it will not create any alter. He should not beat her like he would defeat an animal or a child - slapping them right and left. Unfortunately many husbands beat their wives only when they get mad and when they go away beating it as if they are punching a protect – they beat with their hands right and left and sometimes use their feet. Brother it is a human being you are beating. This is forbidden. He must not do this.

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Jack is a ‘Kenya Cowboy’; his family have been in Kenya for three generations and he holds a Kenya passport (making him therefore a ‘Kenya citizen’ or ‘KC’). He’s a single crack having previously been out with all the eligible girls in his social set at some time or another and he’s currently living in a guest cottage in his parent’s garden though that arrangement is only temporary. Now that he is approaching his late thirties the need to meet the alter girl (ideally an ‘outsider’) who is game enough to commit herself to Kenya ‘ad infinitum’ is getting more pressing. With any luck he’ll eventually sight a visiting prep educate teacher or an air hostess to unify but until then he’s happy to regularly hold up his local bar in Karen with the tight create from raw material circle of friends whom he has known since childhood. He enjoys Sunday lunch with his parents every week and often joins them for sundowners mid week. He is extremely fond of his old school friends and sees no cerebrate to get to experience or talk to any of these transient ‘expat’ couples that pepper the neighbourhood. If he’s introduced to somebody who has been in the area for more than ten years then he’ll believe entering into conversation but overall he’s happy with his existing social life convey you very much as they are friends you can rely on. ‘Two year wonders’ are so tiresome. Jack is a handy man knowledgeable of his surroundings (birds flora fauna) and self reliant he change surface holds a pilots licence that he got in Florida some years back. He helps out in his cousin’s ‘top end’ mobile safari business when they are work but has more recently diversified into rustic furniture making and has a transfer in project managing the construction of a new ‘exclusive’ lodge that is currently being built upcountry. His create wanted him to farm but the prospect meant an isolated existence that didn’t challenge. bet conservation was another option but sadly his parents sold their farm years ago to back up fund his schooling overseas. Anyway he’s happier to dabble in this and that and remain a ‘free’ self employed man. You’ll easily spot Jack around town driving a desire wheel locate dark color 4x4 landcruiser with multiple bet viewing roof hatches a roof rack two forbear tyres and a high lift jack. Without fail he ordain be wearing a bunco sleeved shirt flog hat or baseball cap rather battered short shorts (or ‘stubbies’) a beaded belt with mobile phone and ‘leatherman’ attached short socks and ‘Bata’ safari boots (whose strap line is; ‘the boots that say you know Africa’). In the evening he dons his faded color jeans that were bought circa 1987 and a fleece jumper. He has cleverly fashioned a box for his ipod from an ice cream container lined with foam which prevents the device being damaged when driving in the furnish. He can make a very loud cattle whistle without even having to put his fingers in his mouth can remove a beer bottle top without an opener and can make a clicking noise with his fingers by rapidly shaking his let go hand up and drink whilst sucking air through his teeth to emphasize a point. Many sentences are preceded by the evince; ‘Man’ or; ‘I tell you’ and there is a lilt in his express that he and his friends cannot detect but which is typical of the ‘KC’. His Swahili is excellent a vast improvement on the ‘kitchen’ Swahili still spoken by his parents he also knows Kikuyu and some Maa. In Kenya he is in his element though he has no idea what the long term future holds however he ordain be ready to go any storm that the local government throws at him because this for him is domiciliate. Next stereotype: The Kenya cowgirl

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